Episode 4: I Started Pulling Away, But..

After what felt like a rejection, something in me changed. Not dramatically, not all at once, just quietly.

Like my feelings finally got tired of embarrassing me.

I stopped replying as fast. Stopped dropping everything when he called, stopped pretending his mixed signals didn’t affect me. And for the first time since this started, I let him feel my absence.

At first, I don’t think Jay noticed. Or maybe he did and thought I’d come back around like always, but then the messages started changing.

Jay:“You disappeared.”

Jay:“You ignoring me now?”

Jay:“Come over.”

And usually..I would’ve gone, no hesitation.

But this time, I stared at the message…then locked my phone, because I finally understood something:

Every time I got close to him, I ended up confused afterwards, and I was tired of being the only one carrying that confusion.

A few days later, he called me.

Not texted.

Called.

I almost didn’t answer.

“Why are you acting weird?” he asked immediately.

I laughed softly. “I’m not acting weird.”

“You’ve been distant.”

There was something different in his voice. Not anger, something closer to frustration, like he didn’t like losing access to me. And honestly.. that should’ve satisfied me more than it did.

“I just think maybe we got too comfortable,” I said carefully.

The line went quiet for a second, then he sighed.

“So what, you’re done with me now?”

Done with me. Not us.

Because there never was an us. And somehow that tiny difference hurt more than it should’ve.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then stop moving strange.”

There it was again. That pull. The way he could say the bare minimum and still make me question myself.

After that conversation, he started trying more. Checking in, double texting, actually making plans instead of random late night “you up?” messages.

And stupidly… part of me liked it.

I liked knowing he noticed when I pulled away, liked seeing effort from him for once. But another part of me knew better, because none of it changed the one thing that mattered.

He still never gave this a name.

And that’s why I need to kept my distance, because attention is dangerous when it comes from someone you’re already trying to get over.

Especially when they only start trying after they feel you slipping away.

And the scariest part?

I could already feel myself getting pulled back in.

Episode 5 coming soon...